You know you’re a mom when….

Your child is sat warm and cosy in a pushchair with a rain cover, a thick warm blanket, a coat with a hood a bottle of juice and a sandwich, a nice cheese and ham on malted bread sandwich meanwhile, you are the one pushing the pram in the torrential rain, with holes in your trainers so your feet are wet. Not just wet, but soaking wet, dripping, squelching wet.

Your child has 3 healthy meals a day, hits her targets of 5 fruit and veg a day and endless drinking, to ensure she is well hydrated, mean while you are eating the crusts off her half chewed sandwich, which she insists on feeding you whilst trying to swig back the cold cup of tea you started at 7am that very morning.

You hide in the kitchen to eat a tasty snack that you really don’t want to share with the child.

Your child has a new wardrobe every month, mean while you don’t own once single item of clothing that doesn’t possess a hole, or bleach stains, or make you look like a sac of potatoes. 

You sit up late to stupid o’clock just to have me time and when you do go to bed, your up at every sound to check everything is okay, mean while your child gets from 8.30pm till 9.30am as a nice long uninterrupted sleep.

You use the bathroom with a child sitting on your lap.

You bath with a child’s little hand trying to grab any bit of naked flesh they can get hold of.

But most of all, you watch them with the up most admiration and their achievements are your achievements.