Where it all began

I am a first time mother, to a beautiful blue-eyed little girl called Brooklyn Ezmae. Until she was born, I did not think it was possible to worry about and miss another person as much as I do when we are not together.

I will be the first person to admit that I did not take to motherhood like a duck to water as many people say they do. Then again, my pregnancy wasn’t easy, with blood cloths, injections, tablets then Brooke, or princess B as I call her, decided she did not want to come out at full term, she went 10 days over, I was induced, waters broken twice and almost three days of painful labour (I was only allowed gas and air, then near the end I had nothing) and a ventouse later, a warm slimy baby was placed on my chest.

I went through all the emotions once she was born, I was hurt, resentful, annoyed and upset for weeks after she was born, I felt like everyone adored her but I was unable to find those feelings. I was tired and angry for weeks after she was born. We also spent the first week in hospital with her due to dehydrated.

But that soon all passed, I now find she is the most adorable easy loving and smiley baby that everyone else could see. Now she is almost 4 months and we have some fantastic times together.

My princess B and I are settling into a mini routine. We have morning breakfast, wash time, our day together, bath time at 6pm, bottle and bed. I will admit, it is a bit routinish and boring especially when I really want adventure and freedom, but I know these moments wont last forever so I treasure each and every one. 

Hello and welcome back

Okay, so I’ll be honest here, I suck at remembering and making time for myself, hey who doesn’t these days? After all I am single mother to a now toddler, who keeps me extremely busy and on my down time, I, well…nap, a lot.

So hi, hello, yes you reading this, hi-ya, welcome back to my little corner of the universe, a safe place to express feelings and discuss anything you feel is important to us.

Quick update!

My name is still Samantha, Sam or if you are my brother-in-law…Samfa (long standing bad joke, I cant even recall the last time he called me anything but Samfa). I am still a mother to one, Brooklyn, Brooke, Brookie or B. (If together we make this blog work, long enough till you are able to read, hi darling…eat your greens please).

Brooke is now two; she was 2 about a week ago. She is a chatterbox, from the time she opens her eyes at around 6am, till the time she closes them. She talks about everything and anything. She does this amazing little voice when she talks through her toys, its all high pitch and squeaky. She is a right character, but we all guessed she would be from her mannerism.

Brooke is now using a potty (yay), although she has used a potty since about 3 months old for her, erm, number 2’s. In the last two weeks she has been asking and using the ‘big girls toilet’. At home she is dry, we are still working on the out and about part. Hey why not check out my baby led potty training post.

At the end of last summer, we brought out first campervan. She is a conversion from an old railway transit. Converted campervan/day van. I love her, she is called Frankie and we are yet to make more memories in her. Ideally I would like to re-design her layout, but all good things come to those who wait, right?

I still own a motorbike, although I don’t get to ride as often, mainly because of the weather, I mean being winter does absolutely nothing for my eagerness to ride. Brooke is still terrified of both my helmet and my bike, but who knows, maybe that will change this year.

Anywhoo I’m already working on my next blog post and look forward to you all reading it soon.

Rainy days

We live in Britain, and in Britain it rains...a lot. So no surprises when I woke up this morning and it had been raining and it was misty.

If you are anything like me you then start thinking ‘how can I entertain a 15 month old in a way which wont cost the earth’ BINGO, the good old fashioned, classic park. So this morning I grabbed a good old burping cloth that was very useful when Brooke was a baby, but looks more like rags now and headed out local park. Lucky enough I remembered Brooke’s wellies, as last time I forgot them and trying to keep a toddler from dancing in muddy puddles with rather expensive Clark’s first shoes is a challenge within its self.

Brooke loved the park, at least I think she did, that or she loves seeing me run round with a old rag drying every swing, seat and slide she wanted to go on. Either way it was good to see Brooke so happy, the smile on a child’s face is priceless, especially when that child is yours.

After a fair amount of time watching mommy run around like a lunatic drying all playable items, Brooke decided she wanted to go for a walk, so let herself out of the big yellow metal gate, shortly and closely followed by me.

What is it with children and mud, not that I really mind as she had wellies on, she made a A line for the biggest muddiest puddle she has ever seen and laughed as she waddled through the squelching mud. I have all the time in the world for Brooke, so when she decided she wanted to walk the long way around to the car, I followed. And when she decided she wanted to follow a dog, I followed her. And when she decided she wanted to climb steps about fifty thousand times, guess who follow, yup you guessed it, me.

But you know what today was the best day I have had in a long time with Brooke, she is one in a million and do you know what the best thing was, Brooke kipped for hours and still went to bed on time. 

Who says you cannot have it all?

So being a mom is not what it cracked up to be. It is so much more, more fun, more adventure and best of all more love.

But as any parent knows in order to be the best parent you can be, its important that time is taken for oneself. In my case it is time taken to play with my cars and bikes, yes you guessed it, if you didn’t know; this momma is a massive petrol head!!

So tonight I took my beloved bike out for a lovely spin, to bike night (whilst my mom baby sat) and it was amazing, okay the turnout wasn’t too good and it rained on the way back, I got soaked n froze to the bone, my bike slipped and wobbled underneath me as I rode on the wet roads. But I handled her; I kept my wheels on the ground…I even managed to get a sneaky ‘eat my dust’ moment to my fellow riders. 

You know you’re a mom when….

Your child is sat warm and cosy in a pushchair with a rain cover, a thick warm blanket, a coat with a hood a bottle of juice and a sandwich, a nice cheese and ham on malted bread sandwich meanwhile, you are the one pushing the pram in the torrential rain, with holes in your trainers so your feet are wet. Not just wet, but soaking wet, dripping, squelching wet.

Your child has 3 healthy meals a day, hits her targets of 5 fruit and veg a day and endless drinking, to ensure she is well hydrated, mean while you are eating the crusts off her half chewed sandwich, which she insists on feeding you whilst trying to swig back the cold cup of tea you started at 7am that very morning.

You hide in the kitchen to eat a tasty snack that you really don’t want to share with the child.

Your child has a new wardrobe every month, mean while you don’t own once single item of clothing that doesn’t possess a hole, or bleach stains, or make you look like a sac of potatoes. 

You sit up late to stupid o’clock just to have me time and when you do go to bed, your up at every sound to check everything is okay, mean while your child gets from 8.30pm till 9.30am as a nice long uninterrupted sleep.

You use the bathroom with a child sitting on your lap.

You bath with a child’s little hand trying to grab any bit of naked flesh they can get hold of.

But most of all, you watch them with the up most admiration and their achievements are your achievements. 

Baby led potty training

I am letting my baby potty train herself. When I tell people this, I get weird looks and comments, such as ‘why would u do that, she is a baby’ and ‘your making her grow up too fast’. My response to this is ‘I would not like to mess myself so why should I expect her too and I would rather my baby be potty trained now, than go to school in nappies’

I don’t mean that I don’t let my baby wear nappies, or every time she needs a wee we run to the potty. I also don’t mean that I have sat my baby on the potty since the day she was born. No, I mean I understand and read my baby’s signs and when she needs a poo, I sit her on the potty and that is where she does her business. We work as a team and we have done since she was able to hold her own head.

Bay led potty training is an art; it is an art of following your baby’s natural rhythms. Just like the way you know if your baby is hungry or tired, scared or bored. It may sound silly but the first time princess B did a poo on the potty I was one proud mom, I could not stop boasting how proud I was of my little girl. It is so neat and clean. And I can admit I don’t get nappy ‘poop explosions’ no stained or marked cloths, no fights to get her to lay on a changing mat. I will admit, I have missed her signs, she has pooped her nappy a few times, she has also made a scene on these occasions, cried and screamed until she was changed and had a clean bum once more. Like any mom I do not like seeing my baby so upset and if this means putting her on the potty and letting her self semi-potty train than that is what I shell so and to all those people with the snared remarks from people who ask and laughing glances towards what we do in the baby changing area, you don’t bother me, I am doing what is best for my child and I shall continue to do this. 

Hello and welcome

Let me start by introducing myself, my name is Samantha; I am a mother, sister, daughter, partner, biker, car lover and adventure seeker.

I enjoy the little things in life, like quality time with people I love, making memories and taking photos. 

I have decided to start a blog about motherhood and how I hope this is an extension to who I am not an end to who I was, because lets be honest, been a mom at any age can be a rewarding and joyful but also lonely experience.